That's a breathtaking view, isn't it? See that little rock outcrop at the bottom of the picture? That's where I'm standing this morning. Safe enough for the moment, but one more step forward...
Guess what? God's telling me to take the next step. And if I follow His instructions there are only two outcomes. I'm either gonna do a serious faceplant at the bottom of a very deep canyon, or I'm going to find the wings I've been asking for. Words like FAITH, TRUST, and OBEDIENCE are looming large in my heart these days. COURAGE...not so much.
God has been trying to instruct me in some things over the last few months. Things that go against everything "They" say I should do and how "They" say I should do them. Instead of obedience, I've dug into MY plan deeper. Working harder. Struggling to learn some new things, all the while ignoring that little voice in my head asking me to please listen...
I wasn't doing anything dangerous, or mean. It came down to getting to the place God wanted me to be, but getting there on my terms. I think I know where God wants me to end up, but I've persisted in trying to get to His destination on my road. I have this mental picture of God sitting up in heaven, like an indulgent parent, arms crossed, head shaking, saying, "Go head, you'll come around to my way of thinking eventually."
Yep, I'm there. I've been doing a lot of things my way. Want to know what. MAJOR FAIL. So, now I'm standing on the edge of the cliff and God is asking me to take the next step in a plan I can't see, towards a future I can't imagine.
This week my prayer has changed from begging to see productive results born of my own stubborn will to "Your plan, not my expectations."
I think I'll give that a try for a while. Hopefully I'll sprout some wings before I hit the ground.